...and while I've got Apple on the brain...

Apple has a new series of ads out. Kinda cute... but... these ads miss an important point.. "Mac" used to mean something... It used to mean superior system architecture and hardware design and performance and stuff like that. Now it's just a style of box and an operating system.

Apple is trying really hard to sustain the notion that "The Mac" is alive and well even though it's now just another Intel box.

The scruffy kid says, "I'm a Mac", then the dumpy guy in the suit says, "...and I'm a PC."

It should play out like this:

KID [at screen right]: Hi. I'm an Intel-based IBM PC-compatible computer running Apple's Mac OS-X.

SUIT [at screen left]: ...and I'm and Intel-based IBM PC-compatible computer running Microsoft's Windows XP Professional with Service Pack 2

KID: We have a lot in common these days...

SUIT: Yeah... like a braindamaged memory addressing architecture [looks puzzled as to why he mentioned that]

[ KID looks at SUIT, confused... there is a pause.]

[in unison] We both run Microsoft Office...

KID: But with a Mac, you have the advantage of only being able to run Mac OS-X on a computer marketed by Apple.

SUIT: How is that an advantage?

KID: Well... you wouldn't want your pretty Mac OS-X to be seen running on some anonymous off-white-box, now would you? That just wouldn't be right! It needs to be running on a machine with clean looks on the outside, but which is virtually impossible for the lay user to service.

SUIT: Uh... Why?

TUX [walks in from screen-left and "cuffs" the suit] They're doing the same thing you do, but with hardware [turns and walks out screen-left, shaking head in disgust]

SUIT: ....aaaaaahhhhh! Customer lock-in!... right.... Good thinking! Of course, you know you can never conquer our market-share.

KID: Oh yeah?

SUIT: Yeah!

[A scuffle breaks out. The suit is clearly beating the piss out of the kid. At this point a group of twenty or so people of various nationalities comes onto the screen from just about every direction. One rappels from above another comes up through a hole in the floor. All the new people are clearly wearing Tux t-shirts]

AFRICAN#1: [to suit] Leave him alone, you bully!

BANGLADESHI: What makes you think you have the right to push him around?

CHINESE: What makes you think you have the right to push any of us around?!

GERMAN: You want to take the ability to develop software out of the hands of the common man

FEMINIST: Grrr....

GERMAN: ...people... sorry.

AFRICAN#2: [to kid] And as for you... you need to return to your roots.

JAMAICAN: Yeah... and get a job.

MEXICAN: You're thirty years old. Don't you think it's time you got your own apartment?

TIBETAN: Now both of you play nice... I don't want to have to open up a can of Whup-Ass on you, but I will if you make me. So help me, I'll bury you both.

SUIT [gets up and faces Tibetan.. aproaches defiantly]: Are you threatening me? I could have sworn I just heard you threatening me.

KID [still on floor, with bloddied nose -- to Tibetan]: ... you might want to retract that...

SUIT [poking Tibetan in the chest]: Just who do you think you are, buddy?

[A special effect occurs... something reminiscent of the "Waco Kid" demonstrations in Blazing Saddles, except there are frames of the action in there, but they happen way too fast... Perhaps the frames that do appear show the Tibetan blurred, but the Suit in sharp detail, suggesting that the difference in speed of motion is trememdous. The Tibetan works some sort of martial arts move on the Suit, putting him flat on his back, unconscious.]

TIBETAN [Looks at Kid, as if to say, "and what about you?"]

KID [raises hands in surrender]: I'm good. I got no problems with you.

[Cut to blank white screen with "Think for yourself." written in simple gray letters.


Maybe it's just me.